


Worlds Apart

by Twyd



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Beaches, Conflict, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Environmentalism, Falling In Love, Family, Fantasy, Fights, Fluff, Growth, Long-Distance Relationship, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Nature, Ocean, Ocean Sex, Romance, Sea-longing, Slash, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 04:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14157093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twyd/pseuds/Twyd
Summary: Fantasy AU taken seriously. Merman!Izaya. I'M SORRY.





	1. Chapter 1

Heiwajima Shizuo takes a long breath in. The sea glitters around him, silent and mocking, while the sun beats down on the back of his neck. He breathes out. He is the only one left.

He’s torn between leaving them or waiting for a miracle. To leave them should be unthinkable, but he can’t help them out here, has no way of getting help, as they hadn’t seen another boat since they’d been in view of the shore, hours and miles ago. But if he goes back alone, who would believe him? They’d think he lost his temper and murdered them. No, he’d have to make something up, say there had been a shark attack that only he had been able to escape. Even if there’s not a mark on him or on the boat. Perhaps he should just claim amnesia, say he woke up and they were gone. Maybe that really was the case. There is no way what he actually saw could have been real. Maybe he really is mad, or a murderer, or both. He realises he doesn’t know how to get back anyway – Tom had been their navigator. So, he’s not really a survivor: he hadn’t paid much attention when Tom had briefed him on such things. It was only a little fishing trip, after all.

He puts his head in his hands and sobs. He may have enough water and food to last him a few days, but he doesn’t know which direction to go in, and he’s been drifting and bobbing for so long that he doesn’t even know if he’s near the spot where they disappeared.

He swallows and lifts his head, as if the sea mist will help him, and throws himself back with a cry.

There is a man in the water looking at him, one arm resting over the side of the boat, another propping up his head. Only he can’t be a man, for his eyes are red, and there is something about his features that is not quite human, something subtle and dangerous. Shizuo has no idea how long he has been watching him.

“Get away from me,” Shizuo splutters, voice catching in his throat, losing the force he’d wanted.

The man doesn’t move.

“Are you all right?”

He smirks slightly as he says it, sounding more patronising than concerned.

“Go away,” Shizuo says. He starts fumbling one handed in his rucksack for something sharp or heavy, not taking his eyes off the other man. “Get away from the boat.”

The man’s eyes follow his movements, but he doesn’t seem very concerned. He looks almost bored.

Shizuo’s hands shake. He is so disoriented that he can’t even recognise what his fingers brush in the bag.

This creature is different from the others he’d seen, just as beautiful and deadly, but this one is male. The others, the mermaids, had easily been able to lure the others away but not him, so obviously they had sent this creature to finish him off when their own charms hadn’t worked.

“I just wanted to come and say hi,” the creature drawls. “Thought you might be getting lonely up here.”

“Fuck you.”

His lips quirk into a smile even more patronising than the last.

“They’re not dead, you know.”

This throws him. His hand stills in the bag.

“They’re – they’re not?”

“Nope.” His eyes shine. “They’re just having a little fun.”

Shizuo feels his face flush, understanding yet not understanding at once.

“You’re lying,” he hears himself saying. “Unless there’s some magical island that I can’t see, there’s no way. I saw them get dragged under.”

“They were only underwater for a little bit.”

“‘A little bit’ by your standards is probably enough to kill them.”

“Nah, we know what we’re doing.” His eyes glitter mischievously. He’s so beautiful that it’s distracting, and Shizuo has to look down at his hands to anchor himself. He’s not going to go the way the others had, goo-eyed and stupid. He’s going to put up a fight.

When he looks back up, the thing is still smirking at him, and it makes Shizuo too angry to be afraid. His friends are dead, and he’s being mocked.

“What do you _want_?”

The other man shrugs. He doesn’t seem alarmed by Shizuo’s temper.

“You’re being a bit melodramatic, you know,” he says idly. “Even if you were abandoned, you’re not far from the fishing route, and I’m pretty sure that’s a flare gun you’ve got there. You might want to anchor, though. You’ve drifted quite a bit, and not in a direction you want to be going in. And put on some more sunscreen. I can smell your skin burning.”

Shizuo stares at him. He doesn’t want to take advice from someone who could kill him, but its sound advice: he doesn’t want to keep drifting when he doesn’t know which way is up.

He anchors. It takes him a while, partly because he doesn’t know what he’s doing and partly because he doesn’t want to take his eyes off the creature. The man seems to understand and moves back from the boat. He reclines on his back as he does so, and Shizuo can’t help peering into the water to get a glimpse of the tail. The man sees and flicks his tail up for his benefit, allowing him a second of colour and splendour before splashing Shizuo mockingly, making him blink. Scowling, Shizuo lets the anchor go. He moves back as the creature approaches again.

“Relax,” he tells him. “I’m not going to eat you.”

“Then what are you going to do?” Shizuo thinks of all the legends. “Are you going to…sing to me?”

The man’s eyelids lower with utter contempt.

“No, I’m not going to fucking sing to you.”

Shizuo feels himself blushing again, humiliated, almost more worried about offending this man than being killed by him.

“Are you married?” the creature asks him suddenly.

“Huh? No, I’m not. Why?”

“It’s just that some men have fun out here even when they’re married. And it’s not mermaid magic or any such bullshit: they know what they’re doing. They always take their wedding rings off. We keep the wedding rings of unfaithful people. If you can’t keep your vows, you shouldn’t get to keep your ring, right? It’s usually made from sea minerals anyway, in some way or other, so really we’re just taking back what’s ours. Is not like any of you have a problem taking from us.”

Shizuo stares at him. At this stage, he’s pretty sure he’s hallucinating the whole thing and will wake up in a hospital bed at any moment, preferably with a glass of warm milk and his friends by his side.

“I’m not married.”

He thinks about what this implies and his brain catches up. “And I’m not here to have fun! None of us were! We were just fishing, and we weren’t even taking that seriously – it was just meant to be a little boat trip!”

“OK, OK,” the other says, holding his hands up in mock surrender. His skin is pearl white and ethereal looking.

“I haven’t even been here before,” Shizuo forces himself to continue, so he’s not distracted by that beauty.

“Yeah, I know.” The other man smiles wryly.

“So what do you want from me?”

“Nothing. Like I said, I just felt bad for you being left up here on your own. They’ll be down there a little while yet.”

“Can you help me get home?”

“What, you’re just going to leave your friends? _We_ can’t take them back, we don’t go that close to shore, and the current’s far too strong for them to swim.”

“Are they really alive?”

“They sure are.”

“And they’re…” He has to swallow before he can say it. “They’re having sex?”

“They’re having sex.”

Shizuo stares at him. He knows he shouldn’t but he does it anyway.

“But how do they…uh…” he finds himself blushing, thinking of fins and erect cocks, as the other man’s grin widens.

“Do you want me to show you?”

“No!”

“Are you sure?”

“No! I mean, yes! I don’t want to do or see anything!”

“OK,” he’s still grinning, unoffended. “I’ll leave you in peace then.”

“Wait,” he says, as the other is about to dip his head underwater. Being left alone is unthinkable. “Can I…can I see your tail?”

He’d only caught a glimpse of it before, before the other had splashed him and retreated.

“Sure,” he drawls. “No cameras, though.” He swims up alongside the boat, his body horizontal, so Shizuo is able to see the fin in all its glory. He thought it would be sea coloured, but it is somewhere between coral red and the red of his eyes, glittering and strong, beautifully shaped fin. He can see the muscles, the strength of it, even when it’s relaxed. He wants to touch it, but he’s too shy to ask.

The man straightens upright again, bringing Shizuo back to reality. He shakes his head to clear it.

“Where did they take my friends?”

“Let me show you,” he says. He’s no longer smirking. “Seriously. It’ll be fine.”

Shizuo looks at the water. He can’t believe he’s even considering it, but his brain’s still partly dazzled by that tail, the beauty and other worldliness of it.

“I’ll drown,” he says.

“You won’t.”

Shizuo looks at him instead of the water. This is a big mistake. He knows then that he will not be able to say no.

“You can come closer, you know,” he says, when Shizuo realises he has unconsciously inched forward and then stopped. “I won’t bite.”

Shizuo comes close enough to touch, close enough to see the different shades of red in his eyes. It should frighten him but it doesn’t.

The other man smiles when he’s close enough, and puts both hands round the back of Shizuo’s neck and kisses him.

Shizuo is already gone at this point, boneless and warm and happy. He’s no longer worried about the water or his friends. One of the man’s arm goes round Shizuo’s shoulders, the other drops to take his hand.

“Take a deep breath.”

Shizuo’s barely filled his lungs when the arm round him tightens and pulls him under.

The pressure hurts in a way he’d never known. His brain feels like it’s trying to explode out of his ears. A ringing in his head turns to a scream. It’s too dark to see, he can just feel that he’s going down, down into the dark and the cold and more pain and he wants to struggle, but the other’s grip is inhumanly strong, even by his own standards. He’s lost all sense of direction and effort when suddenly there is air.

He gasps it in, and out, and in again, over and over, for he is upright now with the man who almost killed him holding him up. Shizuo clings to him, coughing. He doesn’t understand. They’d been swimming _down_ , and now he’s treading water.

“OK?” the other asks unconcernedly, as if Shizuo’s a child with a crumb caught in its throat. “Here, come and sit down. Let me get some light.”

Shizuo’s pushed back onto the seat of a rock, and scrambles backwards as soon as he feels it, desperate to get away from the water.

The other leaves him, and Shizuo feels a flicker of terror when he realises he might be left to die like this, that he should have stayed on the boat, when his surroundings are illuminated with light.

He blinks a few times as his eyes adjust. They appear to be in a cave of some sort, half filled with water, the rocks he’s sitting on sloping up into the corner. Crystals he’d never seen before line the ceiling and the walls. He stares, open mouthed, forgetting his sore chest and ears. He blinks and tries to find the source of the light.

It is a diver’s helmet, positioned to in a corner to hit some carefully angled mirrors.

“These things last forever,” the other man says, knocking the helmet with his fist. “We found it, we didn’t steal it,” he adds, even though Shizuo’s brain is far to muddled to follow what he’s saying, let alone judge him. “It’s sad, the amount of skeletons you come by.”

Shizuo tears his eyes away and looks around himself again.

“Am I dead?”

“No!” The other starts laughing as if this is the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

“I don’t understand.” It hurts his throat to talk. “Where are we?”

“Air pocket?” the other man shrugs. “I don’t know what you call them. They’ve always been here. Shipwreck survivors get in them sometimes, but they normally die anyway if nobody finds them. They can’t get back up by themselves.”

Shizuo can believe that. He’s still not sure why his own head hasn’t exploded.

“But how…?”

He gives up mid sentence.

He is talking to a merman, his friends have been kidnapped, albeit willingly, by mermaids, and now he is in an underwater cave with said merman. He’s obviously crazy, and there’s no point worrying about it.

“Are my friends here?”

“Hereabouts,” the other says, smiling. “But I think we should let them have their privacy, so we’re not all scarred for life.”

Shizuo nods, feeling his cheeks heat at what his friends are supposedly up to. He looks at the rock surface behind him.

“You can touch it,” Izaya offers. “But while we’re on the subject, don’t ever touch coral. Or plants. Or anything that may be alive, just to be safe.”

Shizuo nods, thinking he just won’t touch anything without permission, just in case. He ghosts his hands over the walls, and a kind of glitter dust comes away on his fingers. He glances at the other man, who is leaning against the rocks Shizuo’s sat on with his arms folded and his chin on his arms, watching Shizuo idly.

“What’s your name?” Shizuo asks him.

“Izaya.”

“Izaya,” he repeats. “I’m Shizuo.”

“I know,” he says. “I could hear you and your pals talking.”

“Where you waiting for us?”

“No. We just have good hearing. And you were getting a little close to the rip.”

“You save people?”

“Now and then. I’m not a saint but, y’know, all the corpses get pretty depressing.”

Shizuo swallows, and the other smiles again to distract him.

“You might want to take your clothes off,” he suggests. “You’re going to get very cold if you stay in damp ones.”

“Shouldn’t it be freezing anyway..?” Shizuo wonders out loud. “Shouldn’t I be freezing this far under the sea?”

“Mermaid magic,” Izaya says, and starts cackling. Shizuo has no idea if it really is or if there’s some kind of scientific explanation for it. He resolves to look it up when he gets home, if he ever gets home. He fingers his shirt unwillingly.

“I’ll keep my back turned,” Izaya offers, seeing him hesitate.

The clothes are uncomfortable. Shizuo starts shedding them when Izaya turns round, hoping he’s not numb with hypothermia.

It is however easier to talk to Izaya when his back is turned, when he’s not floored by that astounding beauty.

“So, um, how do you guys do it with humans?” Shizuo asks, unable to resist. He tries to sound casual, detached. He keeps his clothes near him, so he can ball them on his lap if he needs to.

Izaya laughs. Without turning round, he puts his elbows up on the rock and hoists himself up until he is lying down, tail and all. He leans back on his hands, talking over his shoulder.

“I’ll show you. It takes a few minutes. I should warn you I’ll be naked.”

“Aren’t you already naked?”

“Let me clarify. You’ll be able to see my penis.”

“Oh…OK.”

He stares at the tail over Izaya’s shoulder, fascinated, as the scales begin to flake away. It is like watching the sunset. Two legs are revealed, held together by a fine film, which also starts to break away. His legs are like porcelain, like his upper body. They look nowhere near as strong as the tail. Shizuo notices for the time that he smells good, salty but different.

Shizuo feels himself getting hard. It no longer seem to matter.

“So that’s how we do it,” Izaya says over his shoulder. His voice is different now: uncertain, self-conscious. He brings his knees up, and Shizuo can see his shoulders are tense. There’s a little silence. “I can smell you,” he says quietly.

Shizuo says nothing. He’s so hard, he can practically smell himself.

“Maybe I should – “

Shizuo’s arms shoot out as Izaya’s about to lower himself back in the water, drag him back into his arms and kisses him. Izaya moans into his mouth, not seeming to mind the violence of it. Shizuo shoves his hand between the other’s legs, past his erection to the heat and impossible wetness below. The ring of muscle is slick and burning hot, tight, but easily gives to his fingers. Shizuo moans and loses all sense of control. He shoves Izaya on to his knees and pushes into him. He moves with all his strength, something that would have crushed a normal human. After a while Izaya elbows him in the chest, hard enough to stun him, and Shizuo thinks he’s maybe gone too far, when the other man climbs back on his lap, facing him this time, and rakes his fingernails down Shizuo’s back as they fuck. He’s pushed back against the cave wall and held there by impossibly strong arms as Izaya rides him, the crystals of the wall cutting into his back.

Shizuo manages to reverse their positions. He grips Izaya’s arms so hard he’s sure they must break, but his skin doesn’t even change colour.

“You’re like me,” Shizuo breathes

“Mm?”

“You’re so strong. I can’t hurt you.”

Izaya grins at him lazily. “Yeah, I’m like you.”

He bites Shizuo’s shoulder then, and holds on until Shizuo thinks a piece of him will come away.

He almost passes out when they’re done.

Izaya stays in his arms, his delicate legs curled up between Shizuo’s. He is also panting.

Izaya’s come is all over Shizuo’s chest and stomach. Izaya sees him looking and dips his fingers in it, sliding a digit into Shizuo’s mouth. It tastes good. He rolls Izaya on to his back so he can lick him clean, making him laugh.

“You were amazing, Shizu-chan,” he says to the ceiling, still out of breath.

Shizuo frowns and lifts his head.

“Why are you calling me that? I hate that nickname.”

“Someone else did. On the boat.”

“They were teasing me. They know I hated being called that in school.”

“It kind of suits you,” Izaya says, grinning down at him. “Shizu-chan. Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo kisses him to stop him saying it, and is flooded with how good it feels to kiss him as well as fuck him.

-

“I don’t understand,” Shizuo says later, for about the hundredth time. They are still lying in each other’s arms. Izaya needs to rest before taking him back up, as using his legs makes him weak, even if he had only used them to curl around Shizuo’s hips. Shizuo is less concerned about getting back than he should be. He keeps running his hands over Izaya’s legs. “I don’t understand your biology.”

“Well, I’m not about to give you a lesson. You know what you need to.”

“Are you like a seahorse? You’re not going to get pregnant, are you?”

What Shizuo had thought were quite reasonable questions make Izaya howl with laughter until he can’t breathe.

“Dear God,” he says. “You are the funniest person I’ve ever met.”

Shizuo would be offended in any other circumstance. Now any flicker of annoyance just floats away.

“Do you live by the beach?” Izaya asks him, when he's serious once more.

“No,” Shizuo says, wishing he did. “I’m a city kid. I live in a neighbourhood called Ikebukuro, in Tokyo.”

“Ohhh, I’d love to go to Tokyo,” Izaya says at once. “I love cities.”

“Can’t you go?” Shizuo says, stroking his legs. “Can you walk?”

“Not very well. And definitely not now,” he laughs. “I’d fall over if I stood up right now. I keep meaning to practice. Some people I know can walk really well and control it.”

“Control what?”

“You know, changing.” He taps his legs. “You can sort of train your body to do what you want, instead of just reacting to water or air. It’s hard, but it’s possible.”

“You should do that,” Shizuo says suddenly, delirious with the idea of taking Izaya home with him.

Izaya turns over to face him, smiling a little sadly.

“It’s hard, as in it takes years. I think your afterglow will have faded by then.” He strokes Shizuo’s cheek as he says it.

“Maybe I’ll come again then,” Shizuo says, not put off.

“Good.”

They kiss again.

A high animal yell comes from nowhere, echoing in the cave. Shizuo has no idea which of his friends it is.

Izaya chuckles.

“Someone’s having fun.”

“I think we probably made some noise too.”

“Just a bit.”

They settle again, Izaya moving down to rest his head on Shizuo’s chest.

“Do you sleep with other humans?” Shizuo asks him.

“I have in the past.” He hesitates. “But I won’t if you’re really serious about coming back.”

“I am,” he says. “Next Saturday.”

“I’ll give you every weekend this month, in case there’s bad weather. Don’t go killing yourself for me.” He squeezes Shizuo’s hand as he says it.

“OK,” Shizuo says, even though he has no idea about how he’ll make boating a regular habit going forward, what he needs to do or how much it will cost, he knows he will make it happen.

“I need to get up,” Izaya sighs. He pushes himself off Shizuo reluctantly and slides back into the water. The change is much faster this time, like stepping into a pair of jeans. Izaya wriggles his tail with satisfaction. “I’ll be right back.”

Shizuo lies down and puts his arms behind his head when he’s gone, watching the water reflect on the crystals above him. He’s no longer worried about being left. He’s no longer worried about anything.

Izaya comes back with a crystal bottle, which he uncorks and gives to him.

“Fresh water,” he says. “We keep it around for emergencies.”

“Where did you get this?” he says, admiring the bottle.

“We make them. We recycle down here too.”

Shizuo downs the water, realising how thirsty he is.

“I should take you back,” Izaya says when he’s finished.

“Already?”

“Your friends are waiting for you.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s much quieter,” he says, chuckling.

“OK, Shizuo says reluctantly. He puts the bottle down carefully, and dips into the water to clean himself, before climbing back up to get dressed. Izaya watches him with an unreadable expression.

“Take it easy for the next few days, OK? Your body probably goes through a lot on the way up and down.”

“Will I get sick?”

“No. Well, I don’t know, obviously, but I don’t think so. No-one’s ever come back to tell me.”

“No-one’s ever come back?” Shizuo straightens slowly as the obvious dawns on him. “How many humans have you slept with?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, blushing. It’s fascinating, seeing that skin turn a different shade, but Shizuo does not get distracted.

“How many?”

“Five, OK? I’ve slept with five people my whole life, of either species,” he says. “And they were all humans, if you must know.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What do you mean, you don’t believe me?” He stops looking embarrassed and his eyes darken, unnerving in their redness. “Do you think I’m some kind of slut who brings men down here all the time?”

“Well, I wouldn’t know, would I?” Shizuo says, and instantly regrets it. Izaya looks like he’s about to kill him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m so sorry.”

Izaya’s lips curl with contempt.

“You’re only sorry because you’re scared I’ll leave you down here.”

“No, I’m not,” he says, but suddenly he is. Izaya looks angry enough for this to be a real possibility.

“How many people have _you_ slept with?” he says now, voice hard.

“Two,” Shizuo says truthfully. “Both girlfriends. Ex-girlfriends.”

This doesn’t do him any favours.

“Well aren’t you a fucking saint.”

“I’m sorry, OK? It’s just that you’re so beautiful, I can’t believe that you haven’t had more lovers if you’re not in a relationship. That’s all I meant.”

Izaya just looks at him. He looks like he is struggling to stay annoyed.

“I’m sorry,” Shizuo says again, holding a hand out to him.

Izaya shrugs, looking away.

“Forget it. We’re both grown men, obviously we’ve both had sex before. It’s a stupid thing to argue about.”

“Can I still come back next week?”

Izaya doesn’t answer for a moment.

“They all said they’d come back. Yes, all five of them.” He gives Shizuo another glare. “So yes, come back if you want, I’ll wait for you, but I don’t care if you don’t.”

“I’ll come back,” Shizuo says. “I don’t care if it’s 5 or 50, it doesn’t matter. How will you find me?”

Izaya looks at him uncertainly, as if not sure whether to take him seriously or not.

“When you’re about to turn away from the cliffs, wait there. Don’t go so far that you can’t see the shoreline. I’ll get you from there.”

He pauses.

“And tell someone where you’re going, if you’re going by yourself. Make sure you have lifejackets and drinking water and all the other stuff you need. Just in case.”

“Sure,” Shizuo says, the argument suddenly long ago and unimportant. “I’m sorry about what I said.”

“Forget it.”

“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Shizuo says, and means it.

Izaya rolls his eyes and finally takes his outstretched hand.

“All right, I forgive you. You can shut up now.”

“Thank you.” Shizuo lifts both hands to his mouth and kisses them, making him laugh.

“I really have to get you back,” he says.

“Can I take something back with me?” Shizuo says. “Obviously nothing important, just a shell or something?”

“Sure. I’ll be right back.”

He is longer than he was when he was bringing Shizuo water. Shizuo can feel himself getting colder, hugging his knees for warmth. He wonders if it was Izaya’s body heat that had been keeping him warm, if it had a superhuman range. He tries not to think that Izaya is still mad at him and might be about to abandon him as punishment.

He breathes out with relief when Izaya eventually appears, a beautiful curved shell in hand, smiling.

“Sorry, there’s not much around here.”

“It’s perfect. Thank you,” he says, admiring it. It has little patterns of crystal dust swirls inside. He takes Izaya’s arm when he tries to retreat and pulls him in for a hug. “Thank you so much for bringing me here. Seriously. Thank you.”

“It’s OK,” Izaya says, leaning into him. “It was fun.”

Shizuo holds on to him for a moment, putting off the inevitable.

“You dry so quickly,” he says, nosing his hair.

Izaya laughs.

“I’m water-repellent. You know. Like bird feathers.” His fingers brush over Shizuo’s back, just below his nape, and come away red, scratched against the rough surface on the rock. “I hurt you,” he says. “Sorry.”

“It’s OK. Will sharks smell it?”

“Oh, don’t worry. I have an arrangement with the sharks,” he says, laughing, as if they were a gang. For all Shizuo knew they probably were.

Izaya’s head cocks then, listening.

“Your friends are worried about you.”

“OK,” Shizuo sighs, dipping the rest of his body into the water.

Izaya flexes his tail a few times, readying for the sprint.

“You’ll really find me next week?” Shizuo blurts.

“Yes,” he says, smiling. “I’ll be there, the next few weekends. But do what I said and stay where it’s safe, OK? Take a deep breath.”

He does, and he’s yanked out of the cave and into darkness.

Hands are pulling him. He can tell by their weakness and their clumsy grip that they are not Izaya’s hands. He’s hauled on to a boat and wrapped in foil blankets. They are talking to him and trying to give him tea. The patterned shell is still clutched in his hands.

“Shizuo, Shizuo,” Tom is saying. “What the hell happened?”

As they talk to him and to each other, Shizuo realises they have no memory of what happened. He keeps looking down at the shell to reaffirm the reality, although that obviously didn’t prove anything. Perhaps he fell in and the whole thing was delirium, brought on by hypothermia.

“You scared us,” Tom keeps saying. “We thought we lost you.”

Shizuo is quiet the whole trip back. When he gets home, he strips for the shower and finds teethmarks in his shoulder.

-

He doesn’t get ill, like Izaya had mentioned. In fact, everyone comments on how fresh and healthy he looks, how the sea air must have done him good.

Tom keeps shaking his head over him.

“I can’t believe anyone could look this good after an accident like that. You’re something else.”

He is worried the memory will fade. The others had been returned earlier than him, after all, so maybe he will lose his memory in time too. He looks at the shell first thing every morning and last thing before bed, running over all the details before he goes to sleep, their conversation, Izaya’s tail, the way he had tasted. But his memory doesn’t fade, and by Tuesday, Shizuo realises that if he’s going to make good on his promise, he’s going to have to start making plans.

He doesn’t know a thing about boats, the tide, any of that. He reads up what he can in the space of time he has after work. He can’t ask Tom or any of the others for advice: they can’t remember anything about the trips other than Shizuo’s “fall,” and they’d think he was crazy for wanting to go back.

He’s not stupid, though: there’s no way he’s going out there without telling someone where he’s going.

He tells Celty everything. He knows she knows he’d been keeping something from everyone since the trip, and she listens to everything without judgement, as she does everything, examining the shell he shows her. He shows her the fading marks on his neck, although he is embarrassed about doing so.

“I know I could be, I probably am crazy, but I have to go back, just in case. I don’t know why the others can’t remember and I can. Maybe that’s why none of Izaya’s other lovers came back, because they couldn’t remember. ” Thinking this, Shizuo is glad for once that he’s different from everyone else. “I have to try. I’ll wait for him where he said, where I can see the shore and other boats. And if nothing happens I’ll come back and forget the whole thing.”

 _-I’m coming with you,_ Celty types. _If not on the boat, I’ll just wait at shore. If you’re not back by sundown, I’ll find you and kill you myself._

-

The sun is shining that Saturday, birds singing, families on their way to the park. It is a beautiful a day as it can get. Standing at the window, Shizuo’s stomach knots with sudden fear. He actually wouldn’t have minded too much if it had been stormy. What he’s doing suddenly seems more and more ridiculous, however you looked at it. He looks at Izaya’s shell, but it does nothing to quell his fears.

He double checks his bag: 2 litre bottles of water, packaged food that won’t expire, a torch, a radio. He will hire a lifejacket with a whistle when he hires the boat. He has also invested in a waterproof watch and GPS tracker.

Celty studies him when she meets him at the station.

 _-You don’t have to do this, you know._ _Even if he’s real. He said himself it’s a lot to put your body through. He’d understand if you never went back._

Shizuo thinks about Izaya. He can’t _not_ go. Even if he can’t bring himself to take the plunge underwater, he could at least see Izaya and talk to him.

“I’ll go,” he says.

At least he’d find out if he’s crazy or not.

-

Out on the water, Shizuo tries to relax. He passes several families in other boats, on a day out, the children shrieking and laughing, and a few fellow lone fishermen. He finds himself getting calmer every time someone waves at him. He can see the shore, he can see still see other boats in the distance, it is a beautiful clear day, the waters still. There is nothing for him to worry about. He just has to wait.

He’d brought a book on sealife to pass the time. He tries to read it now, but he finds himself jumping every time he hears a splash, and he can’t concentrate. He looks at the pictures instead. None of them come close to the cave he’d been in. Five minutes pass. It feels like fifty.

He hears a tapping on the bottom of the boat then, firm and deliberate as a knock. He cranes over, just as Izaya’s head crowns from the water. He looks radiant, hesitant yet happy, smiling all over his face.

“You came back.”

Shizuo leans down to meet him in a hug, holding on to him.

“It’s so good to see you. I thought I might have made the whole thing up.”

“I thought you wouldn’t come back.” Shizuo can see his tail over his shoulder, curling back and forth in the water. He gazes at it, mesmerised. “How are you?” Izaya says. “How did you feel after last time? Were you sick?”

“I was OK. No-one else remembered anything. Maybe that’s why no-one ever came back to see you. They literally blanked out. My friends thought I just fell in.”

“That’s weird,” Izaya says. “I’m going to pull you a bit further out, if that’s OK,” he says, retreating into the water and pulling the boat one handed, as easily as if it were a rubber dinghy. “Another boat might come by. That’s really weird, but it kind of makes sense. This guy came back once.” He gives a self deprecating little laugh. “ And I have to admit I got excited when I heard his voice. But he had a girl with him. They had sex in the boat.”

“What an asshole.”

“Not really,” Izaya laughs. “He didn’t remember.”

“Exactly.”

Izaya smiles at him. “Do you have a really clear memory of it all?”

“Yes. But now I think about it it’s not that weird. I’ve always been different to everyone I know. Stronger. It’s never been a good thing until now.”

He tells Izaya about almost breaking an arm as a child when he tried to hit his brother with the fridge. He has to explain what a fridge is, but he still gets his point across.

“I could tell there was something different about you,” Izaya says. He says this with an air of satisfaction that both warms and thrills him.

Shizuo tells him about Celty, that she’s waiting for him on the shore.

“That’s a good idea,” he says. “I bet she’s worried sick. Have you got everything else?” He stops pulling to try and peer into the boat. “Life jackets and all that? What are you reading?”

Shizuo shows it to him.

“Can you read?”

“Of course I can read,” Izaya says, offended.

“Well, it’s a reasonable question. Paper gets wet.”

“Paper from _trees_ , which are on land. We use engravings and other things.” He doesn’t seem very interested. “Did you bring everything you need?”

“Yes,” Shizuo says, suddenly wishing he’d brought Izaya a gift. He makes a note to find something for next time, something that can survive under water. “I was scaring myself with worse case scenarios.”

“It’s good to be prepared for them.” He stops pulling the boat looks at Shizuo a little shyly. “It was brave of you to come out here on your own.”

Shizuo nods.

“You can drop the anchor here.”

He watches it sink until it disappears.

“We don’t have to, you know.” He looks up to find Izaya watching his face. “I know it must be scary. We can just talk here.”

Shizuo looks at him, thinking of the cave, what they did there. Being brave has paid off this far.

“No. I want to.”

Izaya smiles and holds out his arms.

“Come on, then.”

Shizuo had hoped the pain would be less than last time, that his body would be ready for it, but the squeezing-exploding in his head is worse than ever.

He coughs less when he surfaces though, and adjusts more quickly than he had last time. He has been practising holding his breath in the bath.

The headlight is already on in the cave, in a slightly different position, or maybe another mirror has been added, as it is lit up more than last time.

“You OK?” Izaya asks, holding him upright. “Sorry about that. I wish I could give you oxygen or something. Maybe you should learn how to, what’s it called, scuba-dive.”

“Yeah, I want to,” he says, as Izaya pushes his shoulders back against the rock. Shizuo feels around for a hold with his foot to hoist himself up.

He had looked into scuba diving, feeling faintly ridiculous as he had still been doubting his sanity at that stage, and been disappointed at the expense, the difficulty of it all.

He finds a foothold and pulls himself up on the rock, reaching down to pull Izaya after him. He sheds his clothes, and Izaya lies across him as his tail changes. He can already feel himself getting hard.

Shizuo wants to keep a hand on the tail to feel the change, feel his legs break out, but Izaya takes it away and holds it instead.

“It’s sensitive at first.”

They are kissing by the time Izaya’s able to open his legs.

-

They lie together when they’re done.

“Tell me everything,” Shizuo says suddenly. “Tell me about the engravings, how you live, if you have schools, jobs, all of that.”

Izaya laughs gently.

“I can’t tell you _everything_. That would take a while.”

“Tell me something though. Please.”

Izaya rolls over to nuzzle him.

“I’ll tell you one thing. The way it’s always been until quite recently is that humans are boogiemen. People that live really deep down, who have never seen them, don’t even believe they’re real, despite what ends up in the water. We were always told to keep away from humans as children, that they’re dangerous, but that’s starting to change with younger generations. People are getting curious. It’s getting common to, you know, fool around with a human. There are even stories of people getting so good with their legs that they can go on land properly, for good.”

Shizuo thinks about this. It gives him that their situation isn’t completely futile. Even in his blurred afterglow, even he knows summer will not last forever, and he will not always be able to come.

“So your mother wouldn’t approve of this?”

“Heh. No. It’s not like yours would either, if she could get her head around it. There’s just so much…there’s oil spills, farming, there’s pollution, and it’s like, there’s all this harm and it’s all one way. OK, obviously there are attacks and things from our end, but it’s not like anyone ever comes up there and does something. That’s why there’s always been an issue with humans. But I think more and more people are understanding that it’s not as black and white as that. That you can’t just say all humans are evil and be done with it. There are far more of us than there are of you – we have more space, after all – but we’re going to coexist for a long time.”

Shizuo listens to all of this.

“We all know about it, about the environment, but it’s like, it’s not really a big deal, it’s just something the government are taking care of. It seems like the awareness is better these days, but I don’t know if it’s enough.”

“Well, that’s fair enough. It’s not like many people care about what’s happening up there, either. Just when it causes problems for us.”

“So how do you live down here? I mean, do you all have jobs? Homes? Cities? Can I see them?”

“Yes, yes, and yes,” he laughs. “But you can’t see them, they’re too far down. Your head would explode.”

“What if I did learn to dive?”

“Waaaay down. Even diving has its limits. I don’t know what the hell we’ll do if humans develop the technology to get to us. I don’t want to think about it. I think there’d be an all out war.”

“What jobs are there? How come you know so much about humans?”

“People’s jobs are mainly centred around…I guess you’d call it conservation. And there’s obviously a big market for it with everything humans are doing to us, no offence. There’s no money, though. Everyone just kind of gets on with their own thing and there’s enough for everyone. There are fights and love affairs and families and all the rest. We don’t have pets, though you can obviously get attached to say a tame fish you really like. Everyone and everything just does their own thing.”

“What happens when you get old?”

“We don’t always live very long,” he says sleepily. “Especially if you’re on your own. No retirement homes, no home help.”

“Do you have schools? Is that how you know so much about humans when we know nothing about you?”

“We’ve been around longer. Darwin didn’t cover everything. We don’t have schools, parents or carers teach everything. There’s not so much of an emphasis on education, not like up there. Obviously we don’t have doctors or lawyers or any of that. You just kind of learn what you need to. Obviously there’s art and poetry and all of that, but not as good, not as much. I think that’s why I love humans so much. We, we down here, I mean, we could be so much more.” He pauses. “I watch humans a lot,” he says, like it’s a confession. “When I can get close enough. And I’ve always been obsessed with learning as much as I can. I just think it’s so fascinating up there. “I love cities. I love the noise, the buzz. The things you make, the internet, all of it. It’s like being in the dark ages where I’m from, literally.”

“You might not think that if you saw more of it,” Shizuo thinks, thinking of the view from his bedroom window, the smog over grey tower blocks, being packed on the subway on the way home from work, the smell when the dumpsters were emptied.

“You’re just thinking of the parts you don’t like, though,” Izaya says. “Not like, say, mountains or skyscrapers. Down here isn’t all pretty. This cave is pretty, but it’s not pretty everywhere. It’s mostly just really dark.”

“You can see in the dark?”

“Yup.”

Shizuo checks his watch and sighs. Three hours have flown by.

Izaya seizes his wrist with delight.

“Like this,” he says. “This is what I’m talking about. We make things too, but this is something else.”

“I’d give you it, if it wasn’t hella expensive and I need it. How do you guys tell the time?”

“It’d look suspicious if I started wearing one anyway,” Izaya says, letting his wrist go with a sigh. “It’s sort of hard to explain as we have such different reference points. It’s kind of like our surroundings. You know how you can tell the time of day when sun comes up or goes down, or like how you know it’s noon when the sun’s at its highest point, say, it’s like that only…more.”

“This is all so cool,” Shizuo says. “I feel like I’m in a movie.”

“I saw a movie once. It was on a projector thing on the beach. I think it was Jaws,” he says, laughing. Then he shakes his head. “This is what my parents always warned me about, you know. Telling humans too much. All it needs is one guy to find something even vaguely interesting, and all his friends will come back with drills.”

“That won’t happen,” Shizuo says, giving him a squeeze. “I’m not interested in any of that. I mean, I’m interested in your world, obviously, but I don’t want to do anything or tell anyone about it.”

“Do you promise? Not even Celty?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

Izaya relaxes again, content.

“What do your parents do?”

“They travel a lot,” he says. “They’re like…scientists, I guess. They make observations on wildlife numbers and other figures to see where more help’s needed.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. We’re not savages down here,” jokes, nuzzling him.

Shizuo doesn’t think Izaya’s a savage. He thinks he’s ten times smarter than he is.

“Languages?” he asks.

“Nah. All the same. Slightly different if you go far enough, but we can all communicate. I learnt Japanese, English and Russian because I’m near Japan, English is everywhere and I just like Russia.”

“You make it sound like Utopia.”

“It’s definitely not. No emergency services? No communication when someone goes away? I haven’t spoken to my parents for over a year. If they died I wouldn’t know. No laws? Well, there are, kind of, but it’s not like they’re enforced. We don’t seem to have the same kind of problems up there – there’s no child molestation, for example, or prejudice, but there’s definitely murder and rape and all the rest of it.”

Shizuo is quiet. He is filled with dismay when he discreetly checks his watch. He feels like he could spend a year in here and it wouldn’t be enough.

“It has its good side,” Izaya goes on. “Adopting children, for example, is much easier. If an infant needs looking after then someone usually just does it. But up there, there’s just…there’s just _more_.” He gestures with his hands as he talks. “There are more bad things, but there’s more good, too. You’ve done so much in the amount of time you’ve had. The medicine and the culture and the fucking technology, it’s just fascinating.”

“What do you do with your dead?” he asks suddenly.

“We have like…a hole’s probably not the right word. It’s more like a drop. Even we can’t go all the way down there. Kids play on the edge sometimes, trying to see how far they can go. I used to scare my mother senseless doing that.” He pauses. “I don’t know what happens to the bodies, if they eventually implode or get burnt up at the centre of the earth or what. We used to say there was a monster that lived in there.”

He keeps firing questions at Izaya in a way he knows must be annoying, but he needs to know everything and he can't stop. Izaya doesn't seem to mind.

“Can you take me to see dolphins or anything like that? If I stay back and don’t hurt them?”

“I haven’t seen many dolphins round here. Porpoises, now and then. They might not let us get near anyway. I can take you to see turtles and lots of smaller creatures. They’re not very exciting, though.”

“Can you bring me an oyster pearl?” Shizuo asks him one time. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” He is smiling. “It’s just that that means something rather significant in our culture.”

“Oh. Like proposing?”

“Yup. Other gems are becoming more fashionable, but pearl is the traditional favourite.”

Shizuo feels a strong need to change the subject.

“When my friends went off with those girls, it was like…I don’t know, it was like they were drugged or something. How come it’s not like that for us?”

“Because I didn’t do it,” Izaya says. “It’s something we have that we can do to humans, like…an aura? I hate that hippie shit, but it’s the best way I can think of describing it. None of its real, anyway. If I did that and I died in front of you, it’d wear off and you’d just go, ‘who’s that? Why was I so upset?’ I didn’t want to do that. I’d rather you hate me than not really like me.”

"Oh." This is a relief. “Say something to me in your language.”

“I’d have to be in the water, and you wouldn’t see or hear anything. It’s too different.”

“What do you eat?” he asks. “Fish?”

“Fish sometimes. Mostly kelp, algae, seaweed, stuff you would think is really gross. We need the minerals in it all. The idea of cooking, heating food, really freaks me out. Anything with a flame freaks me out. I saw a ship catch fire once. They were all rescued, but it was still awful to see.”

“Do you have brothers and sisters?”

“I have two little sisters,” he says. “Identical twins. They’re a pain.”

“How old are they? How old are _you_?”

“Around the same as you, I imagine. 20 something? I’m 23. Sisters are 15. Do you have siblings?”

-

Shizuo is deliriously happy when he gets back to Celty. He’ not crazy, it was all real, and all as wonderful as he remembered.

Celty however is not impressed.

 _-You went off the GPS_ , she says. _I didn’t know what to do._

“Yeah, Izaya said that might happen,” Shizuo says. “I’m really sorry. But at least you know now that it’s safe?”

She looks at him. He can tell she’s not convinced.

_-I’m coming with you next time._

Shizuo opens his mouth, and stops himself. That actually wasn’t a bad idea. Izaya had seemed very interested in her. He’d never heard of dullahans before.

“Sure.” He thinks about next week. “Do you want to go tomorrow? I don’t think I can wait until next Saturday.”

_-Shinra might get a little suspicious about us spending two whole days together._

Shinra currently thinks they are having a movie day.

“Well, I don’t know, don’t lie to him, but, just, you know…you’ll think of something.”

He can sort of sense her rolling her eyes.

_-You’re a bad friend._

_-_

Celty comes back with him the next day. Izaya had said he’d be around. Shizuo thinks dimly that his weekends are going to get expensive, but brushes the thought away.

They take the boat out again and wait. Five minutes pass. Ten. More than ten.

Shizuo wonders if Izaya is avoiding them. He’d been wary of humans, after all, and Celty is still an outsider even if she is not a human per se.

There’s a gentle splash, and Izaya finally appears with a guarded, uncertain look.

“Izaya,” Shizuo says, chest flooding with warmth. He almost wants to jump into the water beside him. “Sorry. This is Celty. She was worried about me so I thought you two should meet.”

“Hi Celty,” he says. “Sorry you were worried.”

She holds out her hand, and he comes forward to shake it.

She holds out her phone. He reads it and laughs, reclining on his back and holding out his tail to show her, glistening in the sun.

“Can I see your neck?”

She hesitates, but takes her helmet off.

“Neat,” he says.

Izaya comes up on the boat with them. Shizuo has brought a blanket for him to cover himself in.

“Never been on a boat before,” he says, patting it curiously. “It’s weird.”

He still seems guarded, so they keep the conversation centred on land. Celty tells him about Shinra, about Ikebukuro, about her head. Izaya is fascinated. After an hour or so she says,

_-You can drop me back at the shore if you want. You two must want some time alone._

Shizuo waits until they’re at the beach, giving her time to collect her thoughts.

“What do you think?”

There’s a long pause, which isn’t good.

_-I’m not sure._

This is less good, but not as bad as he expected.

_-I can see why you like him. He’s obviously very intelligent. He reminds me of Shinra in a lot of ways. But I don’t know if I trust him._

“He was just a little reserved because he didn’t know you were coming. He’s very paranoid about people knowing about the world down there. But he’s different once you get to know him. I’ve been there twice and he never hurt me.”

She holds out her phone again.

_-Text me as soon as you’re back in range._

“I will.”

He goes back out by himself, worried Izaya will be avoiding him out of annoyance, but he’s there, waiting.

“Well, she was interesting,” he says.

“Yeah. Sorry I sprung that on you. She was really worried.”

“It’s OK. She’s missing a head, it’s not like she’ll do anything to us down here. She’s a good friend.”

“Yeah. She is.”

His heart is beating harder now they’re alone.

Izaya grins as if reading his mind.

“Want to come down? We can just hang out in the boat if you want. It might be too much strain on you to go two days in a row.”

Shizuo shakes his head. He’d been antsy all night, wanting Izaya all over again.

“Let’s go down.”

This will be his fill for a whole five days.

-

Shizuo asks for a more special present this time.

“Like one of your books or something,” he begs. “Something I’ve never seen before.”

“No way,” Izaya laughs. “It’s prohibited. We can’t bring things past a certain level. It’s the equivalent of heroin smuggling or child trafficking. You’re not even allowed past it yourself until you’re a certain age. My sisters keep getting caught trying to sneak through.” ”

“But you said there are no laws?”

“It’s common sense, Shizu-chan. If there was even a hint of our existence it’d be the end of us.”

Shizuo supposes he has a point. It doesn’t stop him getting jealous of this secret part of Izaya he will never be able to fully understand.

-

Shizuo comes back every week. They make love and talk. Shizuo never gets tired of talking to him, even when it’s not about his life underwater. Stormy weekends leave him restless, agonising. His friends – except Celty – ask him pointed questions about where he’s going everywhere weekend, about when they’ll get to meet her, and he just brushes them off. He’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

“I’ve never seen you walk” he says to Izaya one day, when they’re lying sated on the rocks, running his hands over Izaya’s legs.

“It’s really hard. Like if you tried to walk on your hands. OK, maybe not that hard, but still.”

“But you can walk a little bit?” Shizuo presses. “You should come to the beach. You’re always asking what it’s like up there. I can help you.”

“Mmmm, maybe not. It’s kind of scary. What if you put me in a zoo or something? I’d be completely helpless.”

“I wouldn’t do anything like that,” Shizuo says, hurt edging his voice. “ _I’m_ completely helpless here. I’m completely helpless every time, but I trust you. And we know each other now. I just met you when I first came here.”

“I know, I know, but it’s different, isn’t it? We don’t have zoos and cages and things down here.”

“I wouldn’t know what you’ve got down there, would I? You could have worse.”

What started as light bickering escalates into a full-on row.

Shizuo starts yanking his clothes back on as Izaya slides into the water, both retreating to their different worlds. He knows it’s stupid, arguing about their homes and their trust, but he can’t help feeling that he is in the right, and he can tell by the look in Izaya’s eyes that he won’t be backing down any time soon. Shizuo glares back at him.

“Take me back.”

“Fine.”

Izaya drags him under so suddenly he doesn’t have time to really draw breath, and his lungs feel like they are on fire when they finally hit the surface. He chokes for a full fifteen minutes, clawing for air.

Izaya holds him, apologising over and over and kissing him, but Shizuo batters him away as soon as he’s recovered, hauling himself into the boat.

“You fucking _bastard_.”

“I’m so sorry, Shizuo.”

“You could have killed me, you little shit. It still hurts to breathe.”

“I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

He reaches for him, but Shizuo is in too much pain to care. He knocks his hand away.

“Fuck you. Get away from me.” His latest shell from Izaya digs hip, nestled in his pocket, and he chucks it overboard. “I’m going back.”

Izaya follows him for a little while, tries to talk to him, but eventually disappears when the cliffs come back into view.

Shizuo’s anger follows him all the way to the beach, to the station, back to the city and into his apartment, raging in his head like a cloud. He sees the folded back book he’d been reading on navigation on his bed, and knocks it to the floor with contempt.

It’s only once he’s showered, sat down, drank some tea, that it begins to dissipate.

_Fuck you. Get away from me._

He swallows, feeling sick. Once again, he may have destroyed something with his temper, something he’d once thought could be indestructible.

He’s in agony all night, his remorse growing into something unbearable.

At 5am, having been up all night, he makes a decision to throw some things together and gets the first train. He calls in sick to a sleepy Tom just before he gets in the boat. Tom was hopefully too out of it to hear the gulls screeching above Shizuo’s head.

Izaya wouldn’t be there. He’d be miles away in his own world, doing whatever it is he does, eating his food, talking to his people, perhaps thinking about Shizuo but not thinking about meeting him for another week, if ever again.

But he has to try.

It’s not only a different day, it’s also much earlier than when they normally meet.

His book is still in his bag, the one he’d brought when he first returned, and he’s just as worked up as he was then, and goes through the same pictures all over again.

Two hours pass. He’d been planning on staying ‘til sunset, but already he’s starting to get cold, and stiff from sitting in the same position. The weather was not as good as it had been yesterday.

Three hours. He’s thinking of heading back when a hand shoots out of the water, terrifying him with its speed, and grips the side of the boat.

“You’re _here_.”

“Get down,” Shizuo hisses, for at that moment some fishermen have chosen to pass dangerously close. “Boat, _boat_.”

Izaya disappears. Literally disappears, so fast Shizuo doesn’t even see him go down. He nods at the curious men who pass, pretending to be looking for something in his bag.

“How fucking slow did they have to be?” Izaya says, on resurfacing, but his eyes are already softening. He grips the edge of the boat with both hands. “Shizuo, I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s OK. I’m sorry too,” Shizuo says, taking his hands. “Just don’t do that again.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

“Next time we fight we have to do it on the surface.”

“Agreed. Are you OK? Have you been in pain?”

“I’m fine. I was a little chesty but I’m fine now.”

Izaya hugs him, almost pulling him in with his enthusiasm.

“I thought you might never come back,” he says.

Shizuo hugs him back, hard, but the boats over Izaya’s shoulder distract him.

“Drag me a little further out, would you? Don’t want any nosy fisherman hanging around.”

“I can’t take you too far. It’s choppy today.” He pulls back to give Shizuo an accusatory look. “Did you even check the weather forecast before you came out? Does Celty know you’re here?”

“No, and no. Sorry. I had to see you.”

Izaya’s unable to stay mad. He drags the boat out of range of the cliffs and nosy fishermen.

“Anchor here,” he says. “We need to keep an eye on that cloud. Did you bring a blanket? I’m not taking you down again. Your lungs need a rest.”

Shizuo pulls him up and under the blanket with him, his bodyheat keeping him as warm as if he were lying in the sun

“Fucking zoos,” Izaya says under his breath. “What a thing to fight about.”

Shizuo pauses.

“I’m not going to talk about it again if you don’t want to, but if you ever do want to come up then just let me know.”

“I do want to,” Izaya says with emphasis, wriggling into him. “Obviously I’m scared but I do really want to, I always have. You don’t understand how badly I want to.”

“OK.” Shizuo squeezes his hand.

The boat rocks too much to be pleasant, and Izaya insists they go back. Shizuo lets him go reluctantly.

“I’ll see you next week?”

“Yes. _If_ the weather’s OK.”

He disappears.

-

They settle back into their routine. Izaya doesn’t mention coming up again, but it doesn’t seem to matter. It’s obviously a taboo subject, and it’s not worth the fight. Izaya will bring it up if and when he’s ready. Shizuo chooses not to think about winter. _We find people in winter sometimes,_ Izaya had once said. _And they’re nearly always dead before we can save them._

Sometimes they make love in the boat. Shizuo brings Izaya things to show him there. He lets Izaya take his phone out of its waterproof box, and he plays with it so often that he is more proficient with it than Shizuo himself. He is endlessly fascinated by the internet, so much so that Shizuo sometimes has to take his phone back if he is to have any chance of his attention.

Izaya teaches him how to read the clouds to predict the weather, how to navigate by stars. He knows an awful lot about the sky, considering he’d spent most of his life so far away from it. He checks the boat’s safety and occasionally finds a small torch, a better anchor, that he can use. Shizuo longs to invest in his own boat, but his weekly train trip and boat rental are expensive, as his bank account is like a vase with a hole in it that he can never fill.

The last time was not their only fight, however. When they fought, they _really_ fought, knowing how to hit each other where it hurt, Shizuo’s temper, Izaya’s isolation.

Izaya is paranoid after last time, however, and will insist on taking Shizuo to the surface the moment it starts to get heated, where they can either really fight it out or go their separate ways.

“Take me back,” Shizuo bites one afternoon, when he can see Izaya is getting annoyed and he is too.

“Fine.”

Izaya waits a moment too long after Shizuo has taken a breath, and tells him to do it again. He has to speed off as soon as Shizuo is ready, so Shizuo has the least amount of time holding his breath, but after last time, he keeps over shooting it.

“Again,” Izaya says. “Sorry. I want to make sure I get it right.”

Shizuo obediently takes another breath, Izaya watching him in intense concentration,when the absurdity of the situation hits him. He starts to giggle.

“What are you laughing at?”

It in infectious though, as after a minute both of them are holding their sides.

“Shizuo. If you don’t stop laughing you’re going to be stuck down here.”

“That wouldn’t be so bad. You could bring me food and starfish to play with.”

They’re laughing so much they don’t make it up for another half hour. When they do, their fight is long forgotten.

-

“What happens if you get badly injured down here?” Shizuo asks him one day. “If there’s no aid or laws or anything like that?”

Izaya doesn’t answer. That in itself is an answer. Shizuo breaks his promise to himself and talks to him about land again, trying harder than ever to convince Izaya to come ashore with him.

“My parents were in Hiroshima when it hit,” Izaya says, for no reason at all. “They thought the world was ending.”

“I know it must seem like a terrible place, but- “

“I know, I was just saying,” he says. He looks at Shizuo. “I want to come with you. I want to see Ikebukuro.”

Before Shizuo can respond, Izaya gets to his feet easily and paces up and down on the rocks.

“I’ve been practicing. It’s bloody tiring, but I can do it.”

Shizuo stares at him. His legs look as delicate as ever. But he moves with little difficulty. Shizuo holds his arms out to him.

“Come here.”

They agree that, for the first time, they will stay on the beach, a secluded cove away from the main drag. Shizuo will bring clothes for him.

“Dark colours, please,” Izaya says. “I know people think tropical when they think of mermaids, but I want to blend in, not look like I’m on my way to a rave. I don’t want anyone to stare at me.”

“Oh, people will stare at you.”

“What do you mean?” Izaya says, sounding hurt.

Shizuo sighs and cups his hand round Izaya’s head.

“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I won’t be able to help it if people stare at you on the subway.”

“Are we getting the subway?” he says, brightening.

“Not this time. But at some point, yes. I hope.”

-

Izaya is quiet when they make their way gently back to shore. He looks good in his new clothes. He looks like he could blend in. He is surprisingly calm.

“If I think about it I’ll freak out,” he says.

Shizuo squeezes his hand.

“I’m here. It’ll be fine. Tell me if you’re having any doubts at all, OK, and I’ll bring you right back.”

“Do I smell?”

“What?”

“I mean, do I smell different?”

“You smell salty, same as me,” he says, leaning over to sniff his hair. “You don’t smell bad or strange. Don’t worry about it.”

The beach comes into view, and Shizuo guides it in. He’d been hoping they’d have the cove to themselves, but it’s spotted with sunbathers. Some turn to watch their arrival, idly curious.

Shizuo gets out to pull the boat up on the sand. Izaya stays hunched where he is.

When the boat is firm, Shizuo holds out his hand to Izaya.

He takes it, and gets to his feet. He wobbles once, less stable than he had been in the cave, like a lamb learning to walk, but manages to step out of the boat by himself. They walk arm in arm until they get to the shade, where they sit in the sand against a tree.

“Fuck,” Izaya says. He keeps hold of Shizuo’s arm. “Look at that. The water’s all the way over there. And I’m here.”

“You’re doing good. How do you feel?”

“Weird. OK, but weird. That woman is staring at us,” he says, nodding at someone frowning at them beneath her hat. “And I don’t think she thinks I’m beautiful.”

“It’s because you’re holding on to me,” Shizuo sighs. “You know. Because we’re both men.”

“Oh,” Izaya says, losing interest. He doesn’t move away.

-

They explore their boundaries. Shizuo reserves a hotel room by the beach so Izaya can have the whole night out of water. Izaya grows impatient, argues that he wants to see Shizuo’s home, not a hotel, but concedes it’s wise to stay in sight of the water, at least at this stage. When Shizuo is taken to their cave, Izaya can speed him to safety whatever happens. Shizuo can do the same thing for Izaya at the beach, but not in a metropolitan city miles from the ocean.

Izaya’s legs are a lot stronger at this point. He insists on taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

Shizuo has paid extra for a good room, one with a view, but it is disappointingly ordinary, the bed and TV basic, the wallart mediocre. He wishes he could afford a luxury hotel.

But Izaya is looking all around himself as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen.

He sits gingerly on the bed and strokes it.

“This is nice.”

“It’s OK. It’s cleaner than my place.”

“Is that a TV? Switch it on.”

He does, and shows Izaya how to work the remote. He’s deliriously happy.

“I’m gonna make you some tea.”

-

It’s surreal to have sex with Izaya in a bed. Miles from the sea, off the ground and surrounded by bricks and mortar, lying on Egyptian cotton with the air con whirring. What should be the most ordinary thing in the world is delicious in its impossibility. Izaya seems wary at first, uncertain, but gradually grows more excited, like Shizuo’s first time with him, is driven wild by the new sensations and experience, the adventure of it in the safety of Shizuo’s arms. Shizuo has to clamp a hand over his mouth when Izaya starts to yell. Izaya bites his hand, and Shizuo’s taken back to their first time, Izaya’s teeth leaving marks in his shoulder for weeks to come.

They don’t sleep much, Izaya’s first night on land.

-

They go down for breakfast like normal guests in the morning. Izaya has a banana and some prawn toast, as he’s still self-conscious about cutlery. He adores tea. Shizuo wants to see the look on his face when he tries ice-cream.

“I want to stay up here,” he says in a low voice, staring into Shizuo’s eyes. He grips Shizuo's hand so hard it hurts. “I want to stay up here with you.”

Shizuo swallows, feeling he might burst with happiness and need.

“OK. I can take you to Ikebukuro next time, you can see if you like it.”

“I know someone who’s done it,” Izaya says. “He’s living in Tokyo, and he comes back once a year. Kine. You have to help me look him up. I know he’ll help us.”

-

Shinra updates Celty on what they’re doing, reasoning that, worse case scenario, she can put Izaya on the back of the bike and speed him back to the sea. She comes to visit them in Shizuo’s apartment, where Izaya has been all weekend.

“Do you still not like me?” he asks her with his typical bored indifference, making Shizuo wince, but her reply relieves him.

_-I’m glad you make Shizuo so happy._

Izaya however is wary of anyone who is not Celty. Shizuo introduces him to Tom, Kasuka, Shinra, one by one so it’s not overwhelming. They concoct a story about him being from the countryside in a remote village, to explain away any gaps in his knowledge.

He smirks when he sees Tom, doubtless thinking of what he’d been doing when he and Shizuo first met. The other introductions do not go well, either. Izaya’s shyness does not come out well, as he tends to deal with vulnerability with cockiness. He does not make a good impression on Shizuo’s friends.

“Be nicer,” Shizuo says when they’re alone, and he can feel how tense he is when he hugs him. “Seriously. I know you’re nervous, but you need to relax.”

“I’m trying,” he grumbles. “I don’t need them anyway. I have you.”

“You need friends if you’re thinking about really staying here,” Shizuo says gently.

“I have Kine.”

“That’s _one_ friend. And me. It’s a good start, but it’s not very healthy.”

“…Shinra’s all right,” he concedes, after a moment. “Maybe I’ll visit again and bring cookies or something.”

“Russia Sushi.”

“What?”

“Russia Sushi. I have to take you to Russia Sushi,” he says, gripping Izaya’s hands. “I can’t believe I haven’t taken you before.”

“Do I have to meet more people?” he says, not looking keen.

“Briefly yes, and you have to eat the food. You can practise your Russian if you want.”

This convinces him.

Simon greets them with such a warm smile that even Izaya cannot help be charmed. They converse briefly in Russian. Shizuo had worried that they wouldn’t get on, that Simon would be too abrupt and Izaya would get defensive and pricklier than usual as a result, but he can see the other man is relaxing in his presence.

“This was a good call,” he tells Shizuo, when they’re alone.

“You haven’t even tasted the food yet.”

-

Over time, Izaya and Shinra become so close that he too is let in on the secret. He comes out on the boat with them and goggles at Izaya’s tail, watching him swim with awe.

“Tell your Father and I’ll kill you both,” Izaya tells him. “I don’t want anyone cutting me open.”

-

They find Kine. He is an ordinary, middle aged man, perhaps paler than most, but otherwise normal. He is wearing a smart suit and has delicate mannerisms. Shizuo realises something important on meeting him: that mer people may be more attractive than humans, but that Izaya is astoundingly beautiful, no-one could hold a candle to him above the water or below it. Shizuo is lucky.

He had assumed Izaya’s ‘friend’ was their own age, not that he had a father figure to contend with. But he needn’t have worried. Kine seems to warm to him.

“I’m very happy for you both,” he says, in a way that shows he’s not just being polite. “And I’m not surprised he’s made the move up here. He’s been…not an outcast exactly, he’s socially competent, but still. He’s been lonely.”

Shizuo swallows, loving Izaya more than ever.

Kine sets him up with money and work. Average looking, middle-aged man. Bank account. Kine – vegetables, sea or land. Salt now and then. Take baths to stay hydrated.

Tells Shizuo about his views on merging with humans.

“We are far more conservative. We stayed in our ways while humans charged ahead. It’s admirable in some ways. You’ve achieved many things. But so much cost with them. Humans are so headstrong in everything they do and believe. Terrible ideologies. Mass farming. Over population. I suspect one day that it will be prohibited for any of us to join land permanently. It doesn’t make sense in a over populated world, parts of which are starving.”

“Do you think there will ever be a way we can come down there?”

“No. Unless your evolution goes backwards, which I doubt. I suspect even technology couldn’t get you that far, and if it could we’d have enough time to prepare for it.”

“War?” he says, thinking of this conversation with Izaya.

“Hopefully not. Death certainly, unfortunately. We’d need humans to think of it as walking into fire, something they never could and would never want to do.”

-

Shizuo realises a little too late that Izaya’s work isn’t exactly savoury. They have a brief argument about it.

“Oh come on, you’re a debt collector, you’re not exactly a saint yourself.”

“Yeah but, I have no skills and I’ve fucked up so many things. You’re so smart, you can do anything.”

“You’re just making excuses. And anyway, I’m not that smart, and I’m just not interested. I love learning but I’m not interested in learning a trade and just doing that. And anyway, it seems like the more money you earn the more time you spend away from home, and I want to spend my time with you. This way I can earn a good amount of money and spend lots of time with you. That’s the ideal, no?”

Shizuo has to admit he’s right. He’d been struggling just to get out to the ocean every weekend, let alone having Izaya here with him and feeding him, even if he didn’t eat or require much. Shizuo still insisted on taking him out, buying different foods for him to try, taking him to the Skytree to look out at My Fuji, which turns out to be a mistake, as he refuses to come down until midnight, when their tickets run out. He has developed a love of high places.

“I want to go there,” he keeps saying of Fuji. “I want to climb it. I want to see snow and the clouds.”

“We can go next year,” Shizuo tells him. “When you’re more settled. It has to be in summer or it’s too dangerous.”

Now Izaya’s an informant, they move to a bigger apartment, and it’s less of a strain. Money means very little to Izaya, so keeping them both with it is not as awkward as it would be in any other relationship. Izaya finds money both amusing and a nuisance. Shizuo suspects one of the main reasons he doesn’t like Tom is that, as Shizuo’s employer, he is the reason Shizuo spends so much time away from him. thought Izaya would have a more natural, homely taste, but his furniture is sleek and chic, metal and modern – he clearly wants to be as human as possible. Worries Izaya will become too corrupt, but Kine seems to be a good guide for him.

“It doesn’t make sense,” he says one night, lying back on the sofa, swaying one bent knee back and forth. “Eight hours of your day, for most of the year, with strangers or people you actually dislike, instead of being with the people you love most. OK, I know you’re friends with Tom, but in most people’s cases, I mean. And if you account for travel and everything it’s probably more like nine hours. More if you account for shift workers. I know some people might have dream jobs, or important jobs, but what about people who work as cleaners or on a check out till? It’s so pointless. I can’t figure out if I find it funny or not.”

“I know,” Shizuo says. They’ve had this conversation before.

“I’m not criticising,” Izaya says. “I think the idea of it is very good, everyone having a purpose and earning good things for themselves and their loved ones. It’s a hell of a better system than anything we’ve got going. But something’s gone wrong somewhere, don’t you think?”

“Yeah.”

Izaya looks at him and gets up. He comes over and hugs him from behind.

“You’ve gone quiet. Have I offended you?”

“No, no. It’s all true anyway. I was just thinking…” he swallows. “You’ve been here five minutes and your life’s already better than mine. You make more money and you’ve got this great apartment.”

Izaya looks confused.

“How is that better than your life? You have lots of friends and you see your family a lot. You live here with me and the money is enough for both of us.”

Shizuo says nothing.

“Even if you were still on your own, you’d still have your friends and family, you _work_ with one of them, and you can afford your home and good food and to do what you want in your free time.” He thinks for a minute. “I think I get what you mean, though. If it’s any consolation, you’d fit in in my world better than I ever would. We can all read each other very well, so openness and honesty is very highly valued. You’re so…you’re so warm and you’re just so good. People would be able to see that and just love you. Having a temper doesn’t really matter, because that’s just more honesty. I’m sort of private and secretive, and it rubs people up the wrong way. I can’t seem to help it.”

“I love you,” Shizuo says. It is the first time he’s said it.

-

“I don’t feel well.”

Shizuo experiences a sick sensation of falling. It’s made worse by the fact that part of him had been expecting this all along, a foreboding that wakes him up sometimes at night, that it can’t be this perfect, that they can’t get away with this much. Now it has caught up with them.

“I’ll call Celty,” Shizuo says, already reaching for his mobile. “She can weave through traffic on her bike, she can get you there in – “

“No,” he says, his voice curiously flat. “I’m tired. I want to lie down.”

He goes over to their bed and curls up, his back to Shizuo.

Shizuo calls Kine instead, he says he will come immediately. He calls Celty, just in case. Shinra probably won’t be able to help, but he comes anyway because he is Izaya’s friend.

Kine arrives first. He sits on the bed and feels Izaya’s forehead, looks into his eyes and mouth, examines the veins in his wrists, talks to him briefly.

He turns back to Shizuo with a smile.

“It’s just the flu.”

Shizuo stares at him. He cannot believe he has been near to tearing his hair out over this little word. “What?”

“The flu,” Kine repeats. “Same as any old virus. They are pretty much the same symptoms up here as they are down there. Changing seasons and all that. He will be achey and off his food and need some rest, but he’s not in any danger. His fever isn’t abnormal. His pulse is strong.” He chuckles at the look on Shizuo’s face. “Yes, we can get sick too.”

“But what if you’re wrong,” Shizuo persists.

Kine shrugs.

“Take him back to the water if you want. It won’t do any harm. He will recover at the same pace here or there.” Kine turns back to Izaya, who has pulled the covers over his head like a petulant child. “Izaya?”

No response.

Kine turns back to Shizuo and shrugs.

“Ask him what he’d prefer when he deigns to speak to us. I doubt he can be bothered to get out of bed. By all means, take him back to the water if you want. He can be nursed here as well as he could there. Just treat him as you would treat yourself when sick. Keep him warm, make him drink water and broth. Give him a little sea salt here and there – you can just put it on his food – but not too much. It can be addictive.”

Shinra and Celty arrive.

Izaya is coaxed out so Shinra can also examine him, slightly miffed to have someone else encroaching on his territory, but this gives way to his fascination and delight at the opportunity to examine Izaya.

“It’s just like human flu,” he says excited. “Phlegm and everything.”

“Great,” Izaya grumbles.

“Bring him water with sea salt in it,” Kine advises at the door. “It will speed up his recovery.”

“Hot or cold?”

“Either.”

-

Shizuo wraps himself around Izaya when they’re gone.

“You scared me,” Shizuo says, giving him a poke.

“I haven’t done anything,” he grumbles.

“Do you want me to take you to the sea? Should I run you a bath?”

“Just let me rest,” he mumbles, and drifts off to sleep.

They already have expensive, 100% natural sea salt that Izaya had bought – he sometimes dipped his finger in and licks it, the way Shizuo did with jam or sugar when he was very small.

Izaya recovers without needing to go back to the water. By the third day he is almost back to normal, his temperature dropped, coughing a little and grumbling.

-

“I can control it now,” Izaya says one night. It is about a week after his illness.

“Huh?” Shizuo mumbles. “Control what?”

“You know. My tail. You can train your body to do what you want, not just react to water or air. I’ve been practicing. I think that’s why I got sick, because I’ve been in and out of water so much.”

Shizuo looks blank.

Izaya sighs.

“I’m saying I can swim with my legs now, and bring my tail back on land. I can control it.”

Shizuo sits up, staring at him.

“Show me.”

Izaya pulls the sheet back and turns on the light. Shizuo watches in awe as his legs meld together, a fine film tightening and thickening into into its beautiful red, feet hardening then flicking out into a fin.

“This isn’t so useful,” he says, flicking his tail. “But the other way round, keeping my legs, is. In case I ever fall into a pool or something. We don’t have to be so paranoid.”

The red starts to fade, and the process reverses until Izaya’s legs are back, muscular and white. He can now run faster than Shizuo.

-

A year passes, and Shizuo still cannot believe the fact that he has Izaya permanently. That the relationship has survived past the novelty and wonder. They can go weeks without talking of either world. They do not get bored or tired of each other. Shizuo still feels heart-stoppingly lucky to come home to him every day.

They still fight now and then. They both get jealous of nothing.

“You’re only with me because of what I am,” Izaya snarls a lot. “Because you think it’s cool. You wouldn’t be interested if you met me as a human.”

“I wasn’t interested when I first met you anyway. You’re not exactly very fucking friendly.”

Izaya storms out of the room and out of the house. Shizuo knows he will have gone to the ocean, out of range, where he won't be back for hours.

Shizuo thinks that will be the end of it, but he comes back naked and climbs into Shizuo’s lap, hard and wet.

“I don’t want to fight any more,” he says, staring into Shizuo's eyes, and somehow they don’t. Not as much, anyway.

-

 

The swim always makes him come back radiant, makes his skin glow and his hair shine. It also for some reason makes him as horny as hell, so that Izaya would normally come back and simply climb on Shizuo wherever he was and whatever he was doing, smelling of salt and sea air, wrestling with his clothes impatiently.

“It’s enough,” he says, when Shizuo asks him about it. They are in the boat – Shizuo comes with him whenever he can, paranoid that something could happen to Izaya down there and he’d never know. “Once a month here, and the rest of the time with you. It’s everything I want.”

Izaya goes very still then.

“What is it?”

Izaya holds up a hand for Shizuo to be quiet. His head is cocked, listening.

“Sharks?”

Shizuo has developed a not irrational fear of sharks.

“Worse.”

Izaya slips off his chest and dives into the water.

Shizuo could kill him for saying this before diving right in. What was worse than _sharks_? Other mer maybe? Criminals or heavyweight law enforcers? Why the hell had Izaya gone back in?

After the longest few minutes of Shizuo’s life, Izaya surfaces flanked by two twin girls.

“Hi Shizuo,” they chorus, and start giggling.

“Shizuo, these are my sisters, Mairu and Kururi,” Izaya growls.

“We knew it! We knew you were seeing a human!” the longer haired one crows, poking her brother.

“You shouldn’t be up here,” Izaya chides back.

Shizuo is ashamed that he had completely forgotten Izaya even had sisters. He can’t imagine going that long without seeing Kasuka, let alone not talking about him. Presumably Izaya had been checking in on them on some of his monthly swims.”

“Which one of you is which?” he asks politely.

“I’m Mairu,” says the long haired one.

They chatter with questions for Shizuo, while Izaya rests his arms on the boat morosely, bored.

“They’re cute,” Shizuo says when they’re gone. “You must miss them a lot. Who looks after them if you’re up here and your parents are away?”

“It’s different down there. We get more or less independent by age 12, and they’ve always been very willful.” He smiles to himself. “They’re all right. I look in on them now and then. If they needed me I’d know.”

“How would you know?” he says, curious. “You said there’s no long distance communication down there?”

“I’d just…know,” he says. “It’s not like communication. It might be a kind of paternal instinct, because I’ve looked after them a lot and I don’t get it with my parents. I just know if they’ve hurt themselves or if they’re distressed.”

Shizuo thinks about this.

“Do you think they liked me?”

“Oh, they loved you,” he says wryly. “They know about Kasuka from a poster or something. They’re obsessed with him. I have a feeling they’re going to join us up here one day.”

-

Izaya’s sisters are very strong willed. Izaya has found an apartment for them by the end of the year, and forged some documents to get them in school. It is unfair how neat Izaya’s handwriting is, when he’s only been writing for a couple of years.

“Please be careful,” he keeps begging his sisters, who laugh him off. They have Izaya’s sharp wit. Shizuo thinks they’ll be just fine.

“What if your parents visit and you’re all gone?”

“They always visit for at least three months,” he says. “I’d find out, or someone would tell me. And my sisters are going back every other weekend at the moment.”

-

“Have you ever wanted to kill yourself?”

Shizuo’s breath catches in his throat. He can tell Izaya’s not just idly asking, that he’d seen something in Shizuo that is also in himself.

“That drop I told you about,” he says. “Some people go there on purpose sometimes, not little kids. I went there. I went so far and I could feel myself getting dizzy. I thought it might be painful, but now I reckon it’s just like falling asleep.”

“Why did you do it?”

He’s quiet for a long time.

“I was lonely. I was bored. I knew I’d never get up here and never stop thinking about it.”

“Yet you are here.”

“Because of you,” he says. “I never would have been brave enough on my own.”

“What changed your mind.”

“I got scared,” he says. “It wasn’t any rational thought. I just got scared of the darkness and the depth and I went back.” He pauses. “Whenever you see someone kill themselves, they do it as fast as they can.”

Shizuo has never tried to kill himself, but he has had such moments where he’s been lonely, felt useless, bored, that his entire life will be spent mopping tables and making drinks, living by each paycheck, and then he loses his job, each time, and he has literally nothing, no purpose or partner or means of bettering himself.

"Why are you mentioning it now?" Shizuo asks tentatively.

“I have something for you,” Izaya says. He's not long back from his swim, refreshed and radiant.

Shizuo smiles. He loves Izaya’s gifts,

He goes quiet when he sees it is an oyster shell.

“You can do the rings and legal things and all that,” Izaya says into the silence. “Or Kine can help. I don’t know anything about that.” He looks at Shizuo in fear. “Assuming you want to, that is.”

Shizuo pulls him into a hug that takes him off his feet.

“I want to. I want to. I love you.”

Shizuo hugs him hard enough to crush the bones of a normal person. But Izaya is not a normal person. Neither of them are.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE CRACK. You were warned.

“How do you guys reproduce?” Shizuo asks, after the love-making that followed the proposal.

“I can’t believe it’s taken you this long to ask,” Izaya teases him. “It’s very complicated to explain with such different reference points. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it well enough.”

“Is it eggs or babies? Is it a litter or…?” he trails off as Izaya bursts out laughing.

“Dear God, I need to write all your questions down for whenever I’m having a bad day,” he says, wiping his eyes. “OK. Babies are born, eggs are inside the body that are fertilised, they’re not laid by us like chickens. We normally have them one at a time, or twins, as you’ve seen. Pregnancy is nine months. Breastfeeding isn’t a thing. You get the drift.”

“Are you like seahorses? Can men get pregnant?”

“Yes.”

Shizuo stiffens. He turns to Izaya very slowly.

“Did you just say yes?”

Izaya looks at him. He climbs on his lap and puts his hands on his shoulders.

“Shizuo, please calm down. I promise I am not pregnant with your child. I repeat, I am not pregnant with your child.”

“But you laughed that time when I asked if you could get pregnant!”

“I laughed when you asked if I was like a _seahorse_.”

“Well, you are, aren’t you? How are you not?”

“You want me to explain to you how I am not like a seahorse?”

“But why didn’t you _say_ you could have babies?”

“What for? You'd only worry. I’m very careful and I know what I’m doing.”

“But what _are_ you doing? What’s the contraception?”

“Timing is the contraception. I know that sounds vague and risky as hell, but believe me, we are literally trained in how to recognise what’s going on in our bodies from puberty. I’d know if I’m fertile the way you’d know you had a headache. Those few times I said I couldn’t meet you were my, y’know, days.”

“But there must be inaccuracies sometimes?”

“No,” he says. “It’s like you putting your hand in boiling water. There’ll never be a time when your brain doesn’t know it’s too hot. That’s a bad analogy, but you know what I mean. I reckon human women must have had the same kind of awareness at one point, but it dropped away with the development of modern medicine.” He runs his fingers through Shizuo’s hair. “We’re not going to have any disasters, I promise.”

Shizuo’s mind is racing. He’s not thinking of disasters.

“There are no ‘accidents’ down there,” Izaya continues. “Every baby is either wanted or born from rape.”

“But what would it be like? Would it be a freak?”

“No. It’d be like me, able to live on water or air. If I had most of the pregnancy up here, it’d be born with legs and wouldn’t get the ability to change until around puberty, say 11-14. And vice versa if born in water. Make sense?”

Shizuo is staring at Izaya.

“Are you saying you and I could have a baby? Not an adopted or fostered baby but an actual baby of our own that you would carry, same genes and everything?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because a) it’s weird, even by the standards you’ve already put up with, and b) it just hasn’t come up. You’ve never mentioned children before.”

“That’s because I thought we could never have children,” he says. “I know Kine or whoever can forge paperwork, but there’s only so much he can do. I have a criminal record and a violent history. No-one would ever let me adopt a child. And you don’t have any paperwork, just a forged ID and credit history, and a really shady job.”

“It’s not that shady,” he says defensively. “What’s a criminal record? What did you do?”

“It’s nothing. I just punched a guy once and they decided to put me in jail for assault. My brother bailed me out. It doesn’t matter,” he says impatiently, seeing Izaya starting to get very interested in this. “We were talking about children. I never thought about having children because I never thought it was a possibility for me. I never wanted to be with a woman and I knew adopting was out of the question because of the reasons I just said. The closest I’d ever get would be as an uncle to Kasuka’s kids, if he ever has any.”

Izaya’s eyes soften.

“It’s not as simple as that, though. Yes, I’m physically able to have a kid, but that’s not it.”

“We could afford to have a baby,” Shizuo points out. “One day, I mean, not _now_. But one day. If we wanted to. This is a family apartment. But we could afford to move if we had to.”

“I don’t think our kid would have an easy time at school with two daddies,” he says. “I always kind of knew about prejudice but experiencing it is a different thing altogether. Have you seen people look at us sometimes when we’re together?” His eyes burn. “I don’t know how you can stand it. Where I’m from everyone just minds their own business. It makes no sense, there’s no logic to it. I know it’s religious in some cases but that’s something I still don’t understand.”

“I know what you mean. But that sort of thing is getting better than it once was, believe me. And Tokyo is a much better place for us than some other parts of the world. And I think the more couples who do choose to have children, the more it’ll normalise it, like the end of race and gender segregation, so that one day people will look back and wonder how the hell it could have been any different.”

“Yeah, but maybe not in our lifetime. It’s the one thing humans aren’t moving fast enough on.”

“I think our kid would be all right in school. I think he or she would be strong.”

Izaya looks at him, a little smile coming over his face.

“You really want a kid, don’t you?”

“No,” Shizuo says, flushing. “I’m just thinking out loud. I didn’t know we had this…this opportunity.”

Izaya chuckles.

“I think you want one.”

“I’m just saying.” He swallows. “How would you feel about it? Being pregnant?”

“I never thought about it,” he answers. “Same as you. I never thought I’d have children. But I’m not against it. I just hope it’s not twins.”

“I don’t know, you get two babies and you only have to be pregnant once.”

“Yeah, but I remember when my mother was pregnant with my sisters, and she was really uncomfortable. And they set each other off all the time crying. It’s an impossible balancing act.”

Shizuo says nothing, secretly thrilled that they’re actually discussing it.

“And anyway,” Izaya says. “How are you going to explain me having a baby to everyone else? They really will put me in a zoo.”

“We’d just say we adopted,” Shizuo says. “And if you start to show we could go away for a while.”

“Adopted a baby that just happens to look just like us both?”

“Well, what other explanation would there be? We'd just have to say we used a surrogate or something. People believe what suits them.”

“Mm. You’re probably right.” He pauses. “I grew up near a girl who’s Dad was from up here. I think she was my first crush. Maybe that’s why I like humans so much,” he says, smiling fondly. “Her mother seduced a sailor, just like in all the stories. We’d go to caves or sneak up to the surface, and she’d run along the rocks like she’d done it her whole life. Everyone was jealous.”

“What happened to her?”

“I don’t know. I guess she moved away or something. Maybe she and her mother came up on shore for good.”

Izaya yawns and climbs off Shizuo, snuggling into his side instead.

“I can’t believe you can have babies,” Shizuo says. “That’s fucking crazy.”

“I can also have the same problems as anyone up here,” he says sleepily. “And you can too. With your sperm or whatever. Some people can try for years and not manage it. And Ii could miscarry. Anything could happen.”

“But we could _try_ ,” Shizuo says.

“I haven’t even met your parents yet,” Izaya teases. “Go to sleep.”

-

Shizuo doesn’t mention it again, but he thinks about it a lot. They already had a starry sky of a future ahead, and now it’s a sky filled with fireworks. Babies. They could have babies. He finds himself looking at Izaya’s stomach at odd moments, imagining his child growing in there.

They could afford a baby. Shizuo has worked for Tom long enough to get a good pay rise. Izaya is settled in his own work and very much in demand. They have the apartment in Shinjuku, and they have a boat. They had talked of getting another property by the beach.

Izaya meets Shizuo’s parents. It’s not as agonising as he’d feared: they like each other.

Izaya is moody after meeting them, however, presumably because he is missing his own. An unspoken question hangs between them as to whether to have the wedding without them. 

"Could we look for them?" Shizuo suggests one night, stroking his hair.

"Where?" Izaya says morosely. "We might bypass each other completely."

"Well, maybe one of them will stay in the same place, just in case."

"Nah, they never leave each other. They're like swans."

-

Shizuo waits until Izaya is in a better mood, and puts a hand over his abdomen.

“Can we have a baby?”

“Sure,” Izaya says, as if Shizuo has asked him for more tea.

Shizuo sits up on one elbow.

“Do you mean it? How can you be so casual?”

He opens his eyes and smiles.

“I’ve been thinking about it. And I know you have. I think we’ll be OK.”

“How will we do it? Would we need to move?”

“No,” he says. “Go away for a while, as you say. Come back with an adopted baby. People do it all the time, I’m sure.”

He hugs Izaya hard.

“When?”

“Next Wednesday. But we can start practicing now if you want.”

-

Like there being no contraception, there are also no pregnancy tests. Izaya claims he will ‘just know.’ Six months pass without any sign.

“It doesn’t matter, Shizu-chan,” Izaya says to comfort him, running his fingers through his hair. “We’re only 28. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

“Maybe it’s because so scrawny. Maybe you should eat more.”

He rolls his eyes.

“It’s not that. I’ll worry about eating more once the baby’s in me and growing.”

“But do you think something’s wrong? With me, maybe?”

“It could be anything in the world. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. Just relax. It’ll make it harder if you’re tense. Baby’ll come when it’s ready.”

Shizuo tries to accept this, tries to get used to the idea that there may be no baby at all. After all, Izaya is more than enough for him, and without a baby they’d be free to do whatever they wanted, with nothing to worry about except each other.

Still, he very casually mentions babies to Kine one night over drinks.

“Yes, Izaya mentioned you are trying.” he says, sipping his drink. “I wouldn’t worry. It took my brother a couple of years. Even if it takes you two that long, which I doubt, Izaya will only be 30. Still a very safe age. It's slightly different, but it took my wife over a year too.”

“You have children? With a human? Izaya didn’t mention it.”

“I think he needed a little time to come round to the idea of having them himself. It’s obviously a big commitment, having them up here, guiding them through it.”

Shizuo absorbs this in silence.

-

He needn't have worried.

“I’ve been feeling different,” Izaya announces one morning.

Shizuo is instantly awake.

“Pregnant different?” he asks, putting a hand on his stomach, still flat as ever.

“Well, I don’t know,” he laughs. “But I’ve definitely been feeling different and it hasn’t gone away. Let’s hope, shall we?”

-

It happens. They take a cottage closer to the sea when Izaya starts to show. Kine and Shinra become their closest friends.

“It is around 70% more likely to be male with a male couple, by the way. ” Kine says. “And vice versa for females, obviously. Have you started thinking about names?”

Izaya is strangely calm throughout the pregnancy. Calm enough, in fact, to be thinking of the future.

"You should open your own bar near the shore," he says. "Then we can move out here." It's not the first time he's suggested this. He could do the accounts, the marketing, Shizuo could look after the operations, the hiring, they could both work out the decorating. Something small and cosy, that looked after its staff as well as its customers. The idea seemed terrifying and impossible at first, but now, with Izaya, Shizuo is beginning to come round. If they could make a life together, have a  _baby_ together, how hard could it be to open a bar? Or several bars, if Izaya had his way. The way Izaya sees it, it would make them money with hours that they wanted to put in, they could spend time together, they could choose to work with people they trusted and looked after them, they could bring the baby in with them and the customers could fuss over him or her. Shizuo finds himself smiling in spite of himself.

-

Their son is born June 8th 2017 at 13:55:07, in a secluded cottage they’ve rented on the bay, under the supervison of Kine, Kine’s wife and Shinra. He is tiny and perfect. He cries as he’s brought into the world, but stops when he’s placed into Izaya’s arms, looking up at his parents in calm wonder They call him Kai.

-

When they're finally allowed to visit, Izaya’s sisters burst through the door with twice the excitement warranted.

“Mom and Dad are back,” Mairu gasps.

-

They arrange to meet Izaya's parents in a secluded cove.

They're getting out of the car near the beach, Kai in Izaya's arms, when Shizuo notices Izaya stiffen. He looks up – and it is Shiki staring at them. Shiki had been a wary point for them both, Izaya or Kine unable to find a trace of him in either world, and this always made Izaya uneasy. He likes to know everything about everyone.

Shiki is staring at Kai, who is looking at the ground as if deep in thought.

“Congratulations,” he says, looking Izaya in the eye.

“...thanks.”

He comes closer, giving Shizuo a nod as he does.

“What brings you out here?” Izaya asks mildly.

“Oh, you know. Just visiting.” He tickles the baby's foot to get his attention. Kai looks up at him in wonder. “I did wonder, when you said you were taking so much time off.” Shiki chuckles, almost to himself. He gives them both another little bow before backing away. “Congratulations again.”

They stare after him as he leaves.

“Well, that's a relief,” Izaya says.

“It is?”

“It's good to know where you stand with people.”

If Izaya's not worried about him, Shizuo thinks he probably doesn't need to. He gives Kai his finger, who catches it with both hands and holds on, looking astonished at his achievement.

“Let's get this guy to his grandparents.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're an actual star if you've read all of this nonsense. Thank you.


End file.
